very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
