i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
