Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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