Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
