His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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