how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
