I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
