so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
