they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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