I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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