Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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