thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize