The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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