I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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