I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
