Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
