Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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