it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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