she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
