She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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