he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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