The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
