I only kidnapped one of them. chill
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
