He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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