He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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