I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
