stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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