You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
