Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
