Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
