Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
