So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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