so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just want to make out with him forever
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
