Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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