I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
