I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize