My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
