I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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