Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
