We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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