I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
