I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
