Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
