i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
