but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
