the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
