i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
