i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
