I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
