tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
