Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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