K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
