come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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