I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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