You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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