Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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