I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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