Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
