I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
