did you get engaged???
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
