Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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