As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Girls should come with a carfax report
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
