i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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