I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
