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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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