he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
