she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
